


Baby Girl

by CaterinaL



Category: Fandoms_Exploding_My_Mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:42:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5063398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaterinaL/pseuds/CaterinaL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is no ta FanFiction. This is my own brain and if you don't like it or want to read it then don't. This is a complete and utter generalization and not beta ed because this was really hard to write for me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Girl

Here’s the thing about depression. It doesn’t give a single shit when it’s your birthday, or you get to be with your best friend, or you are trying your best to be happy for a little one. Neither do your insecurities. Or anxiety. Or the self hate. None of that stuff give a fuck. All you want to do is have one good day, on your birthday, when you have family in town and it’s supposed to be a celebration. Especially when you have a brother whose birthday is 3 days before yours, he has more friends, more opportunities, and he’s not trying to live up to any ones expectations. 

And then comes the drinking. Everyone else is having a great time, getting drunk, playing games, but you’re the baby who can’t drink, or curse, or be rowdy. And while everyone else is taking drunken selfies and dancing to otherwise dirty songs, you’re hushed off to your room. To go brush your teeth, get in some PJ’s, and go to bed.  
You will always be last. You will always be talked to differently. You WILL always be upstaged by that older brother who has more friends. More friends equals more people to take your side. More people on your side means the little girl crying in her room, who just turned thirteen, feels like she matters less and less. She’s done nothing wrong. Or she thinks she hasn’t. All she wanted was a day all about her. And no, the other siblings can’t say, “but you get the attention all the time from mom.” Getting all the attention from mom doesn’t help much when there are constant “shh. I’m on the phone with your sister”s. Or when all of the siblings are finally together, but it’s about every single one of them BUT her. 

She wants to know what she did wrong, by the way. Why everyone can always find someone they like more. Why can’t she be some ones first choice? Ever? Why does no one prefer her over anyone else? 

All of the people she‘s told she loves always changes their mind about her. No matter if it’s over months or all at once. She breaks all the same when it hit sher.  
I want people to read this. And I want them to know...This is why that little thirteen year old baby that you all talked down to is lying somewhere with cuts on her wrists or a needle in her arm. But know, she still loved those siblings. And all of those “friends” who left her to rot. Every single one. Because she was a lover. And she loved everyone else so much that there wasn’t enough love there for herself.


End file.
